Just began exploring the possibilities of urban regeneration using Mercenaries 2: World in Flames and the ‘all airstrikes’ cheat. Footage will be available soon for major city planners to ponder over for the next time they need to quickly,
safely, and cheaply to remove sections of rundown urban real estate.
Urban Regeneration. Lesson One: MOAB
Lesson Two: The Cluster Bomb
Lesson Three: Airborne Rocket Pods
Lesson Four - Bunker Buster Bomb
Lesson Five - Strategic Missile Strike
Least Favourite Sidekick/Companion
Forgetting console orientation for a second, this prize has to go to either of the female leads from Resident Evil 4 and 5 - don’t think I’ll get any disagreements there surely. Right then back to the Xbox 360. After looking at all my games I realised that I don’t really have any games with sidekicks or companions but one came to mind; Fiona Taylor from Mercenaries 2: World in Flames - irritating Aussie pain in the arse.
Any of the useless civilians you have to pick up in Dead Rising. Oh you’ve hurt you arm, doesn’t mean your legs can’t work. Oh and they love to take a huge group of zombies even though you’ve told them to follow you as you run around the walking dead. MORONS!!!
Just like the Top 10 FPS list, I have to played any game that appears here.
5. Grand Theft Auto IV
GTA Vice City and San Andreas were great games I’m glad we’re all in agreement there, but GTA IV is a massive step in the wrong direction. What we all want from a sandbox crime game is a hugely boring mess where you have to go bowling every fucking minute of the in game day. Oh wait, sorry meant to say, what we don’t want.
4. Mercenaries 2
Once again this title is an example of a great original game followed by a terrible sequel. The game is far too cartoony in design and fiddly in it’s ammo pick up and combat. The game would have been better if some of the stupid design decisions that made the game ‘more realistic’ weren’t put in place, like the idea of needing pilots and fuel for airstrikes and the like.
3. Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts ‘n’ Bolts
In honesty I actually enjoyed Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts, after the review I wrote of course. However, as a follow up to the Banjo-Kazooie and Banjo-Tooie it was absolutely terrible. Two of the greatest games ever made, and this is what Rare made to follow them? A certain sign of Rare’s collapse and there is a special circle of hell reserved for Rare and it’s employees.
2. Bioshock 2
Bioshock is a game with a tight story and great gameplay, Bioshock 2 had to retcon the fuck out of the original story in order to tack on this mess. The story is just absurd and the gameplay is exactly the same as before meaning that nothing new was added to the game. The only improvement to the game is the hacking mini game.
1. Perfect Dark Zero
Another Rare title, Perfect Dark was even better than the Banjo series and to ruin it even more is a shambles. The level design was awful and the over sexualisation of the previously professional and skilled character is a crime, and just a cynical attempt to sell more units. The multiplayer was worse still with the tumbling ability just making a mockery of precedings. PDZ is one of the worst games on the Xbox let alone the worst sequel ever made.